Sex or Affection

Last night at Crossroad, I taught a message called ‘Killer Sex.’  In that message I wanted to show that sexuality, outside of the committed marital state God intended for sex, is an extremely destructive force.  I talked about the new ways we are understanding the brain and neuro-pharmacology.  That sex is, literally, a drug to the brain.  Because of that, sexual contact, of any type, should be avoided at all costs except in the ways God intended.

Some people afterward had some questions that told me that a point I made was unclear.  I always want to be clear and here it looks like I failed.  We should understand the difference between touches that are sexual and touches that are affectionate.  What makes the difference?

Intent.

What is your intention?  Intent can make hand holding sexual.  Intent can make a kiss affectionate.  (Note: in America, we are socialized that kisses are for family only.  You see famous people try to imitate the European custom of the ‘cheek kiss’ but by and large America has not embraced that paradigm.  In other words, in America most people are going to interpret kisses as sexual.)

You need to know and check yourself.  If your intent in the hug is sexual, you need to avoid it.  Some people can hug and it be purely affectionate, some can’t.  This leads us to another point.  We have to labor as hard in protecting other peoples’ hearts as hard as we do our own.  If you are a ‘hugger,’ that does not mean that others have to share that.  If someone has a much higher threshold of contact intimacy than you, you must respect that.  Let me put it to you like this- you have no right to initiate sexual contact with someone who doesn’t want it.  “But it’s just a hug!!”  To you, yes.  To them?

Affection is a needed part of human interaction.  8-10 meaningful touches, right?

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